Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Happy Birthday Haitham.

The morning of February 7th 2018, I spent at home busily packing and preparing to drive an Amish family down South to Georgia.   As I went about my preparations, an undeniable, voice spoke in my mind. I have learned to listen to this voice. It is powerful and speaks true.   I went to my computer, opened messenger and wrote: 

Sent 11:08AM   02/07/18 

Thinking of you today my friend.  I hope you are doing well. 
You are an amazing human being.  You have much to contribute to this world. 
You are strong.   
Send some poetry my way when you have a chance.   Heidi
Seen 11:11AM  

I had a strong sense of his energy that day.
Many years ago I read Carolyn Pearson's book:  Transforming Your Life Through Synchronicity. It was one of those readings that has stuck with me.  I don’t believe in coincidence anymore.  There is purpose in all things. This belief has guided me through the dark night of my soul and beyond into precious, sacred beauty.  

My dear friend Tim introduced me to Haitham.  He soon became dear to my heart.  His brilliant mind was endless, both of us poets, and both of us having suffered significant trials and loss, we bonded. It was a strong maternal bond I felt. His poetry and writings were deep and powerful.   We both processed our feelings through poetry.  

Tim was a powerful healing influence to Haitham.  He and I both loved Haitham and were pained as he struggled.  One of the last times I visited Haitham in the hospital I found Tim there.  The three of us had a poignant, yet, beautiful visit.  Peace and love filled the visiting room that day.  Some time later the  three of us had  breakfast together.  I didn't know this would be the last time I would see Haithem in this life time. He shared a poem he had written about us three:  

My eyes were dim, my vision dimmer, 

My spirit one insolvent glimmer 

Unaware of whence it came, 

Confused by they that stole its name. 

Reason rampant eats it tail 

To leave no lesson in its trail 

By grace I saw one third could be 

All of one infinity.

From perfect joy there need not be 

Wisdom or even memory. 

One thing then learnt remains to me 

Three spirits carve one soul of three.

-Haitham Al-Twarijri

In late February while traveling in Georgia I received a call from Tim.  With all of the amazing love and skill that Tim embodies, he asked me to sit down, because he had some bad news to share.   Haitham was dead.  He had died 2 weeks earlier on February 7th.

So much to process. Pain. Love. More pain. Weeks went by. I remembered messaging him, but I didn't remember the exact date, so I checked. He had received my message just moments before his death.
Is it coincidence?
No coincidence. Haitham needed to read and feel those words before he decided to leave this world. My words are truth. Haitham, You are amazing. You have much to contribute. You are strong. You continue to enrich my life.

Kindred Spirits

Sometimes the pain I feel is tangible. Like a ball filling my body, my heart. Pain.  Pain.  Love and Pain.  Feeling deep emotion hurts. AND Feeling deep emotions is one of the most beautiful things I have experienced in this life. Tears. All the feels.

Years back, Haitham left a note on my desk. 
Short and simple, it read “Shine On You Crazy Diamond”.

I miss you Haitham. 
Go toward the Light, and Shine On You Crazy Diamond.