10 January, 2018

My Loyal Friend

What is this thing we call death?
Our soul departing-  but where does it go?
And how do we get answers?
You were here… and now you are gone.
I know where your body went-  but where is your soul?
And did I end your life too soon?
Did I selfishly take something from you that was not mine to take? 
So many tears.

Honey, I love you.  I am sorry  I didn’t appreciate you enough in your early years.  You were always so loyal and loving.  You were a good dog.  You are missed.  

It was frustrating to me that you ran around town… but I realize now that you just needed to get your needs met- and running was one of them.   I bailed you out of doggie jail so many times that all the officers knew me... and YOU. 

You were with me through a decade of love, loss, happiness and pain.  Perhaps the most difficult decade of my life.  Even when I was difficult you were willing to love me.  You just wanted to be loved and accepted. 

I fear that I didn’t give you all the love that you deserved.  The truth is that I am really a cat person-  and you, a dog, were … well not a cat.  However, I do love you.  I feel bonded to you.  I am sorry if I was not always a great friend to you.  I love you.  I miss you.  Thank you for your never ending love. 

I hope for you … eyes that can see, legs and hips that will allow you to run fast and furiously like you did when you were young.  No more cancer, only light, love and peace.  I wish for you fields and mountain trails.  With lots of bunnies (who always get away because you don’t quite know what to do when you actually catch one).  I wish for you humans who will endlessly pet and massage you.  You loved that so much.  I don’t think I was adequate in that area. 

I do hope we can be together again.  Oh how I LOVED hiking with you.  May you be at peace my loyal friend.  I love you.  I love you.

Love, Heidi

Full Catastrophe Living

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