The Peace. The Pain. The Love. We are so grateful for the Love.

 

Winter Solstice Beginning of Days- Galway, Ireland

 

Dark and wet this Solstice eve,

Reconnecting with ancient tree
In bogs and birds and basket weaves
It is grand ideas that I conceive.

🍀

An ember sparks inside my heart
Feminine creation This is my art

🍀

Ancestors born of this land
Their DNA is in my hands
Wool, willow, ancient oak
Alive in me, my Celtic folk


🍀

A Spideog from the old world visits
A message she has, tell me what is it?
“The solstice sun entering in-

Will bring brightness rebirth, and new found passion

🍀

It is in darkness that one is born,
surrender, let go, then open the door

Feet in the soil, rooted in land
Let the Love runneth over
I work with your hands”


🍀

My heart pours out, this season of love-
Beginning of days
Winter I am born of-

Galway Girl- Full Moon Jig

 Full Moon, Galway jig

Holiday market, Mistletoe sprig

🍀

Wet bog hunting, For ancient oak

Spoons and knives, To be carved bespoke

🍀

Finding Castles, In the countryside

Ruby and Mom, Climbing inside
🍀

Cemeteries, Overlooking the sea

Moss grows thick, Heidi’s jubilee
🍀

My ancestors home, The Emerald Isle

Oh yes, yes yes-  I could stay here a while

Ireland, I am coming home

 

New perspectives.
Looking out my airplane window at the vast world.

I see my home, my town, nearby cities and lakes pass by-
And I realize again, I am but a drop in the sea of humanity.
My troubles are but tiny concerns in this vast world.

I take a deep breath.

Ireland, I am coming home.

Winnipeg

 Late rising sun, Blue mornings rays

Life is frozen, these short winter days
❄️
Sounds are muffled, Earth covered with snow
Celebratory fluting, Icy glow

Winnipeg, oh I have missed you!

 

8th Grade- Heidi

Dyslexia/ADHD made my school years very challenging and often quite discouraging.  Sitting at a desk all day was nearly more than my brain could handle.   I was often embarrassed and my self-esteem suffered.   However, there was one class period where I could be a success.  PE.  Not only was it my brain break, my chance to recharge, PE was the class where I could shine.  I loved leading warm ups.  I found a positive way that I could interact with my classmates.  

 I looked forward to those affirming interactions.   Until 8^th grade.

It was the first year Irving had coed PE.  Armstrong clearly told me that the boys in the class are the leaders- and that I needed to get used to that fact.   He would not allow me, a girl, to lead class warm ups.  I felt a sense of disgust coming from him for even making the request. 

 

I was a determined young woman.  I asked again the next day.  And the next.  I was repeatedly told “No”.   A boy was called on each period to lead the class in stretches and exercises, of which many of the boys had no interest or desire to do.

 

The gender stereotyping Armstrong inflicted was destructive to both the girls and the boys.  One of my classmates didn’t fit the mold of what Armstrong thought an adolescent boy should be.  The boy was awkward, he looked down almost all the time, wouldn’t make eye contact.  He did not like sports.  He was sensitive and extremely shy.  I went home crying more than once because of the way he was treated. As a student I observed Mr. Armstrong use shame, ridicule, and punitive measures as way of influencing students.   

 

Armstrong rigidly imposed his preferred stereotypes

in the new coed PE program for as long as he was able.

But, eventually I was permitted to lead the class. 

 

The number of people coming forward to share their prejudicial experiences

with Armstrong is astounding. Is this the type of leadership Pocatello wants?

 

I support leaders who care for and promote the education of ALL students, not just the fraction that “fit in” to their personal ideal.  I support leaders with humility who are willing to admit mistakes and right wrongs they have made.  I support leaders with the maturity and wisdom to look beyond themselves and make decisions that will foster a healthy community.

I support leaders who care for and promote the education of ALL students, not just the fraction that “fit in” to their personal ideal.  I support leaders with humility who are willing to admit mistakes and right wrongs they have made.  I support leaders with the maturity and wisdom to look beyond themselves and make decisions that will foster a healthy community.

 I would also like to add this, we are all imperfect. We all make mistakes. We all do things at times that are unkind.  I don’t want to judge anyone. 

I don’t know what life experiences have led Clayton Armstrong to behave in ways that shame, degrade, and hurt students.  Perhaps he has been hurt as well.

I DO KNOW that I want the leaders of our schools, and communities to learn from their mistakes and do better.

I support Heather Clarke for District 25 School Board Trustee.

Live Off the Land

 When I was a kid I made up a game that I called “Live off the land”. The goal was to stay outside and only eat what I could forage. I mean, we’ve all been there..right?

Note, my dad is a master gardener, and we had fruit trees. It wasn’t a difficult challenge. I kept a salt shaker next to the tomatoes- Life was good.

A friend reminded me yesterday “Try not to be like everyone else, she said, there will come a time when the pieces that are not you will fall away easily”.

Well, I did try to be like everybody else and lost that little girl who wanted so badly to live off the land.

However, I am working my way back to find her. Because, I think she’s pretty cool, and I’ve discovered that I can do hard things.

The last week of the Farmer’s Market was a delight. Thank you Grand Forks.

High School

I pull my mask up high to absorb the tears streaming down my cheeks.  Elias & I attended orientation at his new high school. I am sitting next to him, not listening, rather just feeling. 

I wanted to wrap both of my arms around him and tell him how amazing his is- all the beauty he brings to my life, and the world.  How much I love him. 

 

Yet, rather than embarrass him, I refrain.

 

My mask gathers the tears.  That little boy.  That sweet boy that put on his superman cape and climbed the ladder to our roof.  That boy that loves to fish and snuggle with his cat while listening to a good book. My baby.  He is now in high school. 

Photo credit:  David J Ruck  

 

A Tisket, a Tasket, I Weaved a Pack Basket

 

l have long desired to own a pack basket. And now I do.

It took me 3 days to weave.  And I love it!

Cardinal

  

I didn’t expect the waves to rise like this again, 

 

It has been so long since I last held her, 7 years today.

 

My human brain struggles as I try to recall all I can,

I want to remember every vivid detail of her life.

 

I can not.  It hurts.

 

But as the pain rises, somehow I feel her again.

Her energy. Her love.

With all the pain comes her.

And I want HER.

 

A cardinal appeared in my window yesterday evening

Never, have I seen one so close

The bright vibrant red, orange, the beauty of its symbolism

I approached the window, took in the moment

 

And then it was gone.

Earth Day 2021

 To Be A Tree

Let us honor our roots

Roots that nourish us

Roots that give us strength

Roots that build us

Roots that remind us from whence we came

 

Let our leaves take in the light

Seeking truth

Seeking compassion

Seeking justice

 

Let the great strength of our timber

Be flexible as winds change

Be present in the light and  the dark

Be giving when it is our turn to return to the earth

To feed the roots of future generations

                                 -HLC

Before and After Death

Shortly after Lizzy died, Aunt Vicki told me-   From now on, when ever you look back on memories everything in your life will be looked upon as either “before or After”  that moment.

 

 

As usual Aunt Vicki was right

 

 

As the days are getting longer and more signs of spring appear I find myself going back to the “Before” memories more and more.

It is a hard time of year.  

 

I still keep her little 2T shirt in my drawer- I take it out, unfold it, bury my face in it, trying to smell her, only to refold and slip it back in my drawer.

 

Death is part of the process.  It is difficult. There is so much I don’t understand.  

Yesterday I learned that a beautiful friend died unexpectedly in her sleep.  What is this thing that we call death?  A quiet passing in the night?  She was a genius, an engineer, beautiful, kind, courageous.

 

Answers, I have not.  So I simply go back to trying to love.  Trying to do a little better than yesterday.  Trying to be kind to myself and others.  Trying to be present, living, being, loving.

 

Good Friday everyone.

 Everything is different,   Nothing has changed

He is still wearing wool.

I continue to be very serious, all the time.

And I still can’t get enough of that smile.

 

This human journey has not been easy.

The path so rugged at times I didn’t think I could go on,

Grasping at roots to pull myself back to the trail.

Yet the view from the mountain peaks has been absolutely spectacular.



We understand sadness, we’re well acquainted with fear, and we know pain profound.


AND We also know unfathomed joy and momentous pure love.

The journey toward beauty and light is not easy. I don't expect it to be. I am just grateful to share all of these human experiences with Eric @ridetoalaska

 
“Life is a balance of light and dark. Happiness comes not from being attached to the good days and dreading the bad days, but by accepting that both are a part of life and have an important role”. -Bronnie Ware