Before and After Death

Shortly after Lizzy died, Aunt Vicki told me-   From now on, when ever you look back on memories everything in your life will be looked upon as either “before or After”  that moment.

 

 

As usual Aunt Vicki was right

 

 

As the days are getting longer and more signs of spring appear I find myself going back to the “Before” memories more and more.

It is a hard time of year.  

 

I still keep her little 2T shirt in my drawer- I take it out, unfold it, bury my face in it, trying to smell her, only to refold and slip it back in my drawer.

 

Death is part of the process.  It is difficult. There is so much I don’t understand.  

Yesterday I learned that a beautiful friend died unexpectedly in her sleep.  What is this thing that we call death?  A quiet passing in the night?  She was a genius, an engineer, beautiful, kind, courageous.

 

Answers, I have not.  So I simply go back to trying to love.  Trying to do a little better than yesterday.  Trying to be kind to myself and others.  Trying to be present, living, being, loving.

 

Good Friday everyone.