Influenza

Spring break was grand

Sunshine and land

Working and building

with my hands



I love to roam

But upon arrival back home

Influenza greeted me

Down to the bone



Miserable nights

Lymph ascites

I felt like receiving

my last rites



Feeling slightly better

Still under the weather

Today at home,

Trying to pull it together



Did I start shopping for my own casket? Absolutely.

Did I call local cemeteries to see who offers green burial? Obviously I did.

Rest Haven Cemetery in East Grand Forks, Minnesota while not strictly a “Green burial cemetery” they do offer green burial as an option. Check out my 5 star review on Google Maps.

Am I a drama queen? Don’t answer, this is obviously a rhetorical question.

Women Supporting Women

 

Filling my bags, I swiftly packed essentials, irreplaceables, and most importantly- my two cats.  I had a long drive ahead of me.   It was March 9, 2000.  I had no idea at the time that it was International Woman’s Day. 

Leaving took courage.  A lot.  I wasn’t just leaving a marriage, I was stepping into a great unknown.  While in the marriage I was still accepted and in good standing in my devout Mormon culture the only culture and people I had ever known.  

I was stepping into freedom, 

I was stepping into judgment

I was taking back my independence,

I was breaking sacred covenants

I was asserting my need for respect

I was disavowing cultural expectations 

I lost friends

I gained true friends

I met people who judged me because of my choice to leave

I met people who love me because of my strength

More than anything-  I gained a more powerful love and respect for women.

It was women who helped me along the way.

Women who held me.

Women who empowered me.

Women supported me at every stage of the process.

This year for International Women’s Day @WoniyaThibeault, a powerful, graceful, incredibly intelligent and skilled woman in her own right has gifted me a hand felted vest that she made.

Wear it with Pride - I Will!

Thank you Woniya!  

@buckskin_revolution

Another dear friend recently made me this LOVELY gift- a Service ID  

@Jamiecreatively

I love being an “Emotional Support Heidi” !

Not just for the free flights on Spirit Airlines, I also love it because it reminds me -  that I have the opportunity to love and support women.  And I DO!   I love empowering women. Shout out to all my ladies!  I love you!

So when my new vest arrives, I will sew on with love my "Emotional Support ID"

With in this Season of Darkness- All is Reborn

The nesting, the resting, the fire, the baking, The slowness, sun’s lowness, the cuddly cat bonus.

Snowy landscapes, sweaters of soft wool, frost on the windows, warm cups to the brimful.

Winter birds, new moons, the crisp draw of breath, Feeling my heartbeat in this season of death

Snow falling softly, as we all nestle in, School cancelled tomorrow, Let the blizzard begin!

Light from a candle, the crackling fire aglow. Warm food and silence to nourish my soul

The Peace. The Pain. The Love. We are so grateful for the Love.

 

Winter Solstice Beginning of Days- Galway, Ireland

 

Dark and wet this Solstice eve,

Reconnecting with ancient tree
In bogs and birds and basket weaves
It is grand ideas that I conceive.

🍀

An ember sparks inside my heart
Feminine creation This is my art

🍀

Ancestors born of this land
Their DNA is in my hands
Wool, willow, ancient oak
Alive in me, my Celtic folk


🍀

A Spideog from the old world visits
A message she has, tell me what is it?
“The solstice sun entering in-

Will bring brightness rebirth, and new found passion

🍀

It is in darkness that one is born,
surrender, let go, then open the door

Feet in the soil, rooted in land
Let the Love runneth over
I work with your hands”


🍀

My heart pours out, this season of love-
Beginning of days
Winter I am born of-

Galway Girl- Full Moon Jig

 Full Moon, Galway jig

Holiday market, Mistletoe sprig

🍀

Wet bog hunting, For ancient oak

Spoons and knives, To be carved bespoke

🍀

Finding Castles, In the countryside

Ruby and Mom, Climbing inside
🍀

Cemeteries, Overlooking the sea

Moss grows thick, Heidi’s jubilee
🍀

My ancestors home, The Emerald Isle

Oh yes, yes yes-  I could stay here a while

Ireland, I am coming home

 

New perspectives.
Looking out my airplane window at the vast world.

I see my home, my town, nearby cities and lakes pass by-
And I realize again, I am but a drop in the sea of humanity.
My troubles are but tiny concerns in this vast world.

I take a deep breath.

Ireland, I am coming home.