The, Feral and Wicked Intelligent, Airhead

I have ADHD, and I am pretty sure I have dyslexia (although, that has not been diagnosed).  Recently a dear friend whom I’ve known for many years referred to me as “feral and wicked intelligent”.  It is perhaps the most meaningful compliment I’ve ever received. 

The truth is,  I struggled with academics in elementary and jr high school.   Reading did not come easy to me-  I learned differently than my classmates and staying on task was challenging for me.  I needed more stimulation than sitting at a desk with books offered me.

I remember 8th grade science and the shame and embarrassment I held in my heart when Mrs. Johnson (who was a wonderful, kind teacher) engaged our class in “popcorn reading”. Popcorn reading was a game where students read from the text and then called on another person in class to read.  If you were called on to read and were not following along, you lost 2 points from your grade and the student who called on you gained 2 points on their grade.  

Does Heidi ever follow along? Do I even stay on task now?  That is a hard NO.  

But dammit, I tried.   I tried so hard to follow along in that 8th grade science textbook.  There were just SO many things that were more interesting and important to me than reading about mitochondria and triphosphates.   

Many of my peers were keen to my inability to follow along.  One classmate, who was somewhat competitive, had little regard for the shame and embarrassment  I felt when I was called on to read.  He seemed to receive great satisfaction when he got the chance to earn 2 points at my expense.  

And not only did not follow along, but I was a very poor reader.  It was utterly humiliating to me to read aloud in front of my peers.  I earned the name “airhead” among my classmates and to me that meant I lacked intelligence, and value.  It really hurt.  Even worse, it shaped the way I viewed myself and my self efficacy.  

I barely graduated from high school, and was lucky to get into our local state college- Idaho State University.  

College was different for me.  I got to choose classes I was interested in (for the most part).  There were powerpoints- creating a visual perception to go along with lectures.  I had lab work opportunities to test the theories I was learning in practical settings.  And perhaps the greatest difference was, I was driven and wanted to succeed.   After two years, I transferred to University of Idaho in Moscow and graduated with honors with a BS in psychology.  I applied to grad schools.  I studied Special Education  (BYU- Provo)  and moved to Kansas for a MS in Counseling (Kansas State University).  When I started my PhD, I was teaching full time and my partner Eric and I  adopted our son Elias.  After years of schooling, I made the decision to take time with my son.  Although disappointing in some ways, it was fulfilling in so many other ways.

I now teach at the University of Minnesota.   I work with teacher candidates on how to engage ALL students in meaningful ways.  Using multiple means of engagement, hands on activities, nature experiences, kinesthetics, verbal, audible, and visual ways to enhance learning in the classroom and beyond.

I love teaching.  I love my students.  And I am thankful for my {albeit painful} experiences that have shaped me into someone with empathy, desire, and courage to drive meaningful change.

Maybe I am not so different from  Jewell, Steven Spielberg, Cher, Whoppi Goldberg, Justin Timberlake, Michael Phelps, Keira Knightly and so many others with ADHD, Dyslexia and other challenges.