19 August, 2016

Mindfulness is...

 Thank you Jon Kabat-Zinn, for your research, dedication and gifts in sharing Mindfulness.
I am grateful.
Watching the clouds,
Observing a flower,
Feeling the sun on your skin,
Making eye contact and connecting with another,
The joy in your heart when your dog is glad your home,
Mindfulness is living in the present moment.

Mindfulness is not…
Chatter in your mind,
The thoughts you have of your annoying neighbor,
The things you say in your mind about others,
Worry about things that may go wrong at work,
Fear about things that will NEVER happen to you.

Our whole life is made up of moments. 
How will you spend your moments? 
All we ever have is the current moment that we are in- 
It is a gift.  Are you at peace with your Present?

Lizzy's 1st Birthday

I began my journey in Mindfulness 6 years ago, as I read Geneen Roth's,  Women, Food and God.
As with most things if life, learning to be mindful is a process that takes effort over time.  I have put much effort into practicing mindfulness- living each moment.  It is not easy, I am human, I still have to kindly reminding my chattering mind to live rather than anticipate, or fear.  Kindly, non-judgmentally bringing myself back to the present is something I work on everyday.

And now after losing my daughter, Elizabeth (Lizzy) in 2014, I see even more clearly the value of mindfulness.   All of  my efforts to live each  moment are a blessing.  Before she died-  I strived to be present with her, to love her (verb), to enjoy her.  And now that she is gone, heart wrenching and difficult, I have used mindfulness to brave the darkness.  To be in the moment with my pain.  I have let myself grieve rather than bury it deep inside.  Is this difficult?  Absolutely.  I brave darkness everyday, I feel pain and hurt, and longing.    Yet somehow, I also feel peace.

What is the alternative?  Burying my pain.  Not allowing.  Pushing it away.  Pretending it doesn't exist.  This just creates underlying fear and  anxiety- the opposite of peace.  And no matter what the pain of losing my baby girl exists.  pretending, pushing it away, only creates fear. The opposite of peace.  I choose peace.   I choose to live in the moment.
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