The Many Faces of Play #primalplay

Is there such thing as too much fun?

It's no secret that I love learning and developing primal living skills... so why not primal play?  Darryl Edwards is an amazing instructor and an amazing human.  - Thanks for a fantastic work out
Photo credits:  Eric Castle 

Hop like a bunny
Leap like a frog
Crawl like a bear
Bark like a dog

Simply feel happy
Enjoying primal fun
The hours fly by
And my workouts all done.

Meet ...Meetah

Tigre (my perfect, amazing and beautiful cat), Meetah our new addition.  Meetah is a rescue dog from a puppy mill in Wisconsin.  I literally picked her up out of her lifelong cage and took her home.  And she hasn't left my side.  That was a month ago. 
 It would be an understatement to say that she loves me. 
She follows me everywhere and cries if I am not in her sight.  Tigre loves her too.  He likes to cuddle.  She prefers me.  Always. 
 My family at nauseam, roll their eyes at her loving loyalty to me. 

PS  See all my silver hair?  Isn't it beautiful?  I have earned every d@m^ one of them.

10 day Amish Road Trip

Atlanta, GA  The birthplace and home of Martin Luther King Jr.

Nonviolence or Nonexistence  Martin Luther King Jr.  Memorial Site

Girls Day in Georgia

Zoo Atlanta

I think Ruby Catherine's favorite part of our trip was this little guy who traveled with us.

Missouri

Amish Farm West Virginia

I love the simplicity of Amish life.  I love staying in their homes. 
And most of all I love sharing these experiences with my daughter RubyCatherine.

Factory Tour Indiana

Another Brilliant Soul.... Will be sorely missed.

 

My eyes were dim, my vision dimmer, 

My spirit one insolvent glimmer 
Unaware of whence it came, 
Confused by they that stole its name. .

Reason rampant eats it tail 
To leave no lesson in its trail 
By grace I saw one third could be 
All of one infinity. .

From perfect joy there need not be 
Wisdom or even memory. 
One thing then learnt remains to me 
Three spirits carve one soul of three.
. -Haitham Al-Twarijri

I miss you friend.  I loved the poetry you sent.  You are a beautiful soul.  Know that you are loved.  Go toward the light.  

My Loyal Friend

What is this thing we call death?
Our soul departing-  but where does it go?
And how do we get answers?
You were here… and now you are gone.
I know where your body went-  but where is your soul?
And did I end your life too soon?
Did I selfishly take something from you that was not mine to take? 
So many tears.

Honey, I love you.  I am sorry  I didn’t appreciate you enough in your early years.  You were always so loyal and loving.  You were a good dog.  You are missed.  

It was frustrating to me that you ran around town… but I realize now that you just needed to get your needs met- and running was one of them.   I bailed you out of doggie jail so many times that all the officers knew me... and YOU. 

You were with me through a decade of love, loss, happiness and pain.  Perhaps the most difficult decade of my life.  Even when I was difficult you were willing to love me.  You just wanted to be loved and accepted. 

I fear that I didn’t give you all the love that you deserved.  The truth is that I am really a cat person-  and you, a dog, were … well not a cat.  However, I do love you.  I feel bonded to you.  I am sorry if I was not always a great friend to you.  I love you.  I miss you.  Thank you for your never ending love. 

I hope for you … eyes that can see, legs and hips that will allow you to run fast and furiously like you did when you were young.  No more cancer, only light, love and peace.  I wish for you fields and mountain trails.  With lots of bunnies (who always get away because you don’t quite know what to do when you actually catch one).  I wish for you humans who will endlessly pet and massage you.  You loved that so much.  I don’t think I was adequate in that area. 

I do hope we can be together again.  Oh how I LOVED hiking with you.  May you be at peace my loyal friend.  I love you.  I love you.

Love, Heidi

Hope Floats

There are so many parts to grief.  Although I believe Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages is accurate and helpful-  when one looks at just the stages they are  a simplification of the process as a whole.  I have been through each stage-  some visit and revisit.

It can take a long time to sort it all out.

It is hard to believe it has been 3 years since my baby died.   She would be in Kindergarten this year. 

And as much as I long to see her bright eyes and hug her, I can not.

Today I am struck by a photo I took on her last Christmas.  Two little girls in their Christmas dresses.  Oh how I loved dressing my girls up. 

Today I am missing seeing my children together- playing, being silly,  running around being kids.  I often wonder what life would be like if she were still with us-  Today I am thinking specifically about how RubyCatherine and Elias’s life might be different?   And again I am reminded (by myself) to breathe. Love. Be mindful.  Live this moment... pain and all.    Joy will follow.

I wrote this tonight... I write the same poem over and over and over.  I just use different words. :)

Suffering

Darkness

sinking in pain.

I must pass through this shadow to gain…

To gain peace

To gain light

All my love uncovering

I brave the dark times

To expose my soul to the suffering

Experiencing All there is

I gain depth and compassion

A cup full of heartache was only part my ration

For, before I could suffer

A pain of this weight

I had to know,

Something {that} great.

My heart is full

And I love to its depth

Consequently,

This means a deep and wide breadth

I have my memories

I honor my bestowment

I don’t need much more…

For, I have THIS moment.

 

The Lamb Castle 2017

January began with Ocean and Sun

We lived in our trailer in Mazatlán

After 3 months we drove back to the US

Across the south and then North we progressed

US History on the East Coast.

We took our time (In DC the most).

NYC was Ruby Catherine’s Fav

Mama liked riding bikes, the kids were quite brave

April came along and we were missing our peeps.

So we hitched up our home and drove for 2 weeks.

Back in Grand Forks, spring had arrived

So naturally, there was a blizzard outside.

Then North to Alaska- The Last Frontier

We were lucky enough to spend 3 weeks this year.

Elias and Mom hiked the Gold Rush Trails

Dad wrote his dissertation and watched for whales

For 14 months we lived in our trailer,

We were now on the lookout for a home with a neighbor

Seeking out the perfect dwelling

Synchronicity brought us to the one quite compelling

The owners were a bonus feature

It was Mrs. Barrentine, my first grade teacher!

Thirty five years and a thousand miles

The reunion was filled with tears and smies.

Merry Christmas to all from our humble abode:

                             Road

Of our sweet Lizzy we are ever mindful

May God grant us the strength to seek out the delightful.